CCST3K(Season 2)Episode 11-"The Next Generation"

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Offical Parody Ad Of “Card Captor Science Theater 3000”

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON TWO)

EPISODE 11: THE NEXT GENERATION

(A Card Captor Sakura [CardCaptors] MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Card Captor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” and “CardCaptors” are trademarks of CLAMP and those who distribute them.

“The Next Generation” is the property of JimAndZazu and she’s welcome to it. I do not intend to offend her by making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)

It's the not-too-distant future,

Last Sunday BC

There was this girl named Sakura

Quite different from you or me

She captured Clow Cards with her friends

All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens

They tried to save the human race,

But Eriol lost his patience

So he shot them into space!!!!

Sakura: (Hoeeee……)

Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)

We'll send them crappy fanfics

The worst we can find  (lalala)

They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds  (lalala)

Now keep in mind they can't control

When the fanfics begin or end  (lalala)

Because, let’s face it, after all

Eriol’s not really their friend;

CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:

Meiling:

'Who asked you?!’

Tomoyo:

'Plushies!!'

Syaoran:

'Where’s my sword?'

KEROOOOOOO!!!

'I love pudding!'

If you're wondering how they eat and 
breathe

And other science facts  (lalala)

Then repeat to yourself

*It's just a MiST*

You should really just relax

For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

DEEP 13

14:22 Hours

Dr. Eriol Hiiragizawa was feeling very good today. That was because he was planning something exceptionally evil.

“They’ve fared well so far…” he said “But they shall soon snap like a bunch of dry twigs! Bwa Ha Ha Ha!”

“Uh… Who are you talking to?” asked TV’s Ruby Moon.

Eriol sighed. “Never mind,” he grumbled. “Just get Rurubell and her friends on the line.”

“Why do I put up with all this chaos?” TV’s Spinel Sun muttered to himself before going back to sleep.

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“C’mon, Sakura! I deserve a second chance!”

“No, Kero. That ‘Hentai’ card thing was too much.”

“But, I promise I won’t make any more bad cards.”

“You won’t be making any cards for awhile.” Sixteen year-old Sakura Kinomoto was shutting out her small and whiny guardian companion. Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meiling were trying desperately to ignore the argument, which was entering its second hour.

Just then a red light started flashing on the command console. “Don’t look now,” said Meiling. “But, Dr. H is calling.”

Tomoyo pressed the button and the viewscreen came to life with an image of Dr. Eriol and his two flunkies.

“Well, well.” Syaoran said with an evil grin. “If it isn’t Eli Moon.”

DEEP 13

Dr. Eriol’s eye twitched. “So, I take it you’ve seen the beginning of the new season of ‘CardCaptors’?”

“Yep.” Syaoran replied.

“E… Eli <hrmph> Moon?” Spinel Sun was practically choking with laughter.

“Shut up… Binny!” Eriol retorted.

“I AM NOT SU--- Huh?”

“Watch the show and you’ll figure it out.” Eriol said coldly. “Well, my little lab rats, it’s time for the Clow card exchange. Why don’t you start out.”

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“This week we’d like to present ‘The Translate’ card,” said Sakura.

“As you know,” Tomoyo began. “There are lots of people who want subtitled anime but can’t afford anything more than cheesy dubs. This card will translate the subdued ‘Americanized’ anime back into its true form with decent subtitles.”

“And there’s more,” said Kero. “Now gamers don’t need to worry about buying expensive adapters to play their favorite import games. Now you can play perfectly translated Japanese games on American systems.”

“It’s a God-send to those in the west who missed out on ‘Tales Of Phantasia’ twice.” Tomoyo finished.

“What do you think, sirs?” asked Sakura.

DEEP 13

“Not bad.” Eriol mused. “My card this week is fairly simple and would’ve helped Bill Gates out a lot in that whole anti-trust boondoggle. I call it ‘The Loophole’. It can find you whatever you need to elude justice.”

Eriol paused to pick up a file folder from a nearby table. “In honor of our new season and the new season of ‘CardCaptors’, I’ve decided to send you a wonderfully hideous little fic that comes from the ‘CardCaptors’ oeuvre and features a very old new character plot device. It’s about your children, my friends, and they’re not too bright, but, in this fic, neither are you. I give you JimAndZazu’s ‘The Next Generation’. Send ‘em some pain, Ruby Moon.”

“Whatever you say, Eli.” Ruby Moon grumbled.

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Eli Moon… Now I’ve seen it all.” Meiling mumbled as she walked off.

“C’mon… pleeeeease?” Kero whined. “It’s bad enough you cut off my pudding supply for two weeks.”

“Not for at least a month, Kero.” Sakura said firmly.

Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It melts away to nothing.)

(Door 5: It swirls open from the center.)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It splits into six long strips that retract into the doorframe.)

(Door 2: It’s made of small wooden blocks. The CCS plushies come in and haul them away, one at a time.)

(Door 1: It’s a set of theater curtains. They are pulled back and you move on.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan enter the theater. The three take their seats in the theater while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

Syaoran:<Patrick Stewart>Fanfiction…. The final frontier…

These are the voyagers of the Satellite Of Love…

Their mission… To read new fanfics and explore new depths of stupidity…

To boldly go where no reader has gone before.

Kero: Cool!

Tomoyo: What kind of name is JimAndZazu anyway?

Sakura: Gibberish?

Kero:<Hillbilly accent> Hi. My name is Jim an’ this is my brother Zazu an’ this is my other brother, Zazu.

Sakura: Zip it, Bob Newhart.

>The Next Generation

Tomoyo: Does this mean the JimAndZazu’s a Pepsi drinker?

Kero:<JimAndZazu singing>Ba, ba, ba, ba BA! The Joy Of Cola!

>Discalimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura, or any of the characters. But I do own May, Joe,
>Dan, and Koe.

Sakura: Whoever they are.

>Prologe

All:<groans>

Syaoran: One word in and he’s already messing up his spelling.

Kero:<JimAndZazu>I’m hukt on fonix.

>*RINNNNGGGGG*

Sakura:*Snap!*

Tomoyo:*Crackle!*

Syaoran:*Pop!*

>The sound of an alarm clock was heard and a girl turned it off and headed for the shower.

Kero: Yep. Another cliché fanfic opening.

Tomoyo:<Girl a la Soun Tendo> A perfect moment…

>After she had finished. She headed downstairs.

Syaoran: Well, this is riveting.

>"Good morning May", greeted the girl's parents Li Showron and Meilin "Rae" Showron.

Syaoran: And what a “Rae” of sunshine she is.

Tomoyo: She’s not really a “Rae” but she plays one on TV.

Kero: Shouldn’t that be Rae-Showron?

>" Good morning" May said as she set the table.
>"Today's your first day away from Hong Kong. Be good." Li said as May ate as fast as she could.

Sakura: Wha--?! Where’d the food come from?!

>"She will Li!" A parinoid Meilin yelled.

All: WHOAH!

Syaoran:<Li Showron> Switch to decaf, already!

Tomoyo: She’s still hyper from “Good Bye Sweet Li”.

Sakura:<Meilin>Don’t make me go insane again!

>May looked at the clock.

Kero:<May> Yep. Still there.

>"I have to go or I'll be late!" May yelled on the way out the door."Bye"

Syaoran: Syaonara!

Tomoyo: Au revoir!

Sakura: Avidezen!

Kero: Bite me!

>5 min. Later......

Kero: That was fast.

>"Class. We have a new student from Hong Kong, her name is May Showron."

Kero: Very Chinese, isn’t it?

Sakura: Could be worse. It could be May Hopkins.

Tomoyo:<May Hopkins>Ken, baby!

Syaoran: Could we leave ‘Gunsmith Cats’ out of this?

>The teacher, Mrs. Teller, told the class.
>"Could you go sit by Joe Avalon in the back?" Mrs. Teller asked May.

All:<sniggers>

Kero: Joe Avalon?

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor>Puh-leaze!

>"Sure," May responded and ran to the back of the room.

Sakura:<Mrs. Teller> Watch out for—

Syaoran:CRASH!

Sakura:<Mrs. Teller> Never mind.

>After class..

Kero: That was fast.

>"Hey Joe." A tall kid with black hair and a camera asked Joe.

Syaoran: Hey, wait a sec… Black hair, camera… Could it be?

>"What Dan?" The shorter kid with brown hair asked.

All: THAT Dan!

>" That girl. I feel like I've met her before." Dan replied.

Syaoran:<Joe> You say that about all the girls.

>"Same"

Kero: Different.

>"Let's go talk to her"
>"No.." But it was to late Dan had dragged Joe to May with him.
>"Hello. My name is Dan. Dan Tylor.

Kero: I’m Bond. James Bond.

Sakura: So, are you an irresponsible captain?

Syaoran: I think he means “Taylor”. You know… Madison.

Kero: Oh, yeah!

>We are in the same class and this is my friend Joe Avalon."
>"Hello Joe. Hello Dan." May responded.

Syaoran:<Dan>Hello, May. Hello, Joe.

Kero:<Joe> Hello, May. Hello, Dan.

Tomoyo:<Seinfeld>Hello, Newman…

>"We were just wondering, have we met before today?"
>"I thought the same thing"
>"Wierd." Joe said.

Kero: Yeah….

Syaoran:<Fox Mulder> Something strange is going on in this town, Scully.

>" I have a great idea!" May yelled.

Sakura: Jeez… Someone’s been hitting the coffee again

>" What?" Joe and Dan asked at the same time.
>"let's go to my house!"
>"Ok"Dan and Joe said as if they were in a trance.

Syaoran:<Dan> Let’s… do… that…

Kero:<Joe>Yes… Let’s…

Tomoyo:<May>Bwa ha ha! I have them now! Cluck like a chicken!

>At the Showron's home.
>" Mom,dad. I'd like to introduce you to my 2 new classmates. The one on the left is Dan Tylor,
>And the one on the right is Joe Avalon."
>"Did you say Avalon?!" Li yelled as he slammed his fist onto the table.

All: Whoa!

Sakura: The entire family is having caffeine fits!

Syaoran:<Li Showron> AVALOOOOON!!! I CURSE THAT FOWL NAME!!

>A/N: Was it good,bad, ugly?

Sakura: Votes: a, b or c?

Tomoyo: C!

Kero: C!

Syaoran: C!

>It's my first CCS story. Even if you don't like it I'm still going to
>continue it. Well, See ya! ^_^

Kero:<JimAndZazu>I’ll continue it to spite you!!

>Chapter 1
>
>"Li," Meilin said softly.

Kero: Where’s she come from?

Sakura: Where are the kids? And why did Li whack the table?

>"Yes?" Li responded.
>She wispered in his ear, "I'm sorry to tell you this but, I'm cheating on you."

Kero: Smooth…

>"WHAT?!" Was all Li had come out.

Tomoyo: Li came out?!

Sakura: I had no idea!

Syaoran: HEY!

>"Get out now!"
>" Just the reaction I hoped for." She said snottishly.

Kero: And what a snot she is, too.

>The next day.....

Sakura: Sooo, what was that scene about?

Tomoyo: To get Meilin out of the way?

>May turned on the televison which was set on the news. Usally she changed the channel, because >she hated the news. But the topic made tears roll down her face.

Kero:<May> The Spice Girls are breaking up?! Nooooooo!!!

>~Channel 15~
>Man: Last night at exactly 2:10 am. There was an accident. 2 people fell off a cliff,

Sakura: Fell off a cliff? How dumb do you have to be to do that?

>There bodies have been Identifieded as Meilin "Showron" Jamo, and her new husband Justin Jamo.

Tomoyo: Soooo, Meilin got divorced and remarried in one day and still had time to fall of a cliff?

Sakura: She moves right along, doesn’t she?

Syaoran: Shouldn’t that be Rae-Showron-Jamo?

Kero: So, who’s this Jamo guy?

>Woman: We will bring your more on this story later.
>~End of broadcast~

Kero: Too bad it’s not the end of the fic.

>May dialed Joe's phone number and told him sh'd be over soon.

Sakura: As soon as she found her missing “e”.

>~At the Avalon residence~

Tomoyo: Arthur and Guenivere were arguing over the décor again.

Sakura: Cute. Real cute.

>"And that's what happend father" May was in tears as she told Li what had happend.

Syaoran:<Li Showron> So… A bully stole some of your “e” supply?

Kero: Hey… What’s he doing at the Avalon house?

>" Don't cry May. You see me and Sakura decided somthing........ We are going to get married!"

All: HUH?!

Tomoyo: That was fast.

Kero: I can’t help but notice that there’s no mention of who Sakura was married to before or what happened to him.

Sakura: So?

Kero: So where’d Joe come from?

>"REALLY?!" Joe and May screamed excidetly.

Syaoran: Well, she got over her mother’s death fast.

Tomoyo:<Meilin> Typical.

>"Now why don't you 2 leave us alone,

Kero: Hee, hee.

Sakura: Cram it!

>I'm sure you'l find somthing in the attic to do." Sakura said with a smile.

Tomoyo: Yeah. Tell the kids to go play in the attic. Very responsible.

>Joe and May run upstairs toward the attic.
>" Li are you going to be alright?" Sakura turned to Li.
>" Hell Yea!

Kero: Someone’s been watching the WWF.

Syaoran: Don’t even go there, plushie.

>I hated that bitch. I only married her to get some money!

Syaoran: Uh, excuse me? I’m the heir to the Li clan fortune, not her.

Kero: I should’ve known the brat was a gold-digger.

Syaoran: You want those words carved on your tombstone, plushie?

>I have always loved you, not her." Li responded.

Kero:<Li Showron>But, not as much as I love money!

Kero: OW!

>In the attic.
>" Hey look at this," May said holding up a book with the words, 'Clow', On it.

All: Uh-oh!

>"Let's open it together" Joe said as he saw the book.
>They tried to open the book, and after 5 tries it opened.

Sakura: They must not be very bright.

>"These are cool." May said with delight looking at the Cluod and the Arrow cards.

Tomoyo: The Cluod?

Syaoran: Next week we should invent a spelling card.

>"Come look at this one May!"
>"Cool"

Sakura: Don’t they know any other words?

Kero: My guess is ‘no’.

>It's name is Fly." They said it at the same time.

Tomoyo: Good timing.

>All of a sudden the cards shot up one by one, they tried to catch them but failed.

Sakura: Okay. I call foul! It was ‘The Windy’ card that sent the cards flying not ‘The Fly’.

>"Uh oh...." May looked at Joe.
>“Mom and Li,Now dad, aren't going to be happy about this."

Kero: You think?

>2 B continued.

Syaoran:<Hamlet> To be… Or not to be…

>A/N: Happy all you S+S fans. Don't worry for you Mailen fans. I'll be adding a new romance in the >next chapter.

Tomoyo: How can they add new romance for Meilin when she’s dead?

Kero: Search me.

>So stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter of, NEXT GENERATION! ^_^

Syaoran: We’d rather not…

>Chapter 2.

Syaoran: But, if you insist.

>Footsteps where heard outside the attic. The steps belonged to Sakura. As she came in she saw >that the Clow Book was out and in the Children's hands every card except the fly missing.
>" Joe......May....." Sakura said before she passed out.

Kero: I’ll bite. Why’d she pass out?

>Joe and May closed the book and saw on the back was a fierce looking wolf start to come out. >They screamed!

Sakura and Syaoran:<May and Joe>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Kero: Megami-sama?

>"May,Joe,Sakura what's happening?!"Li said as he ran up the stairs, but the color started to fade >from his face.

Tomoyo: Don’t tell me he’s gonna faint too.

>The wolf was gone and now floating in mid-air was Kawaii little dog with wings.

Kero:<Winged Dog> Spinel Sun, my evil twin, where are you?

Sakura: Oh, please…

>"Now which one opened the book?" The little dog asked in it's high pitched voice.(A/N Was anyone >sucked helium out of a ballon? That's what it sounds like)

Syaoran: Oh great… Now I’m going to have that voice stuck in my head.

Kero:<high pitched voice>My name’s Wally and you’re in trouble, by golly!

>"Sakura! When's dessert?!" It was Kero. He stopped when he saw the creature.
>"Kero?! Is that you?" The thing said.

Sakura: The creature is a disembodied hand?

>"Yes, it is. It's been a while Koe."

Tomoyo: Koe?!

Kero: First it was Kero-Ni in “Card Captor Syaoran” and now this!!

>"Umm...Dad?"May said as sweetly as she could.
>"Yes?"Li responded to his daughter.

Sakura:<May>What the hell is going on?!

>" You know that book? The one with the pretty cards in it? Well, me and Joe opened it and all the >cards came out of it except,this one" May holds up the fly card.

Sakura:<Sakura Avalon> Not agaaaaain?!

Syaoran:<Li Showron> Sure. They can play in the attic. Nothing bad could possibly happen.

Sakura:<Sakura Avalon> Oh, be quiet.

>"What's going on Li? Oh Kero your Awake! Ahh...Kero who's your friend?" Sakarua said as she >stood up.

Sakura: Sakarua?

Tomoyo: When proofreading hits a new low…

>"Sakura, meet Kou the female guardian of the Clow. But there's a problem."Kero said.

Syaoran: Yeah. No kidding.

>"What?"

Sakura: When?

Syaoran: Why?

Tomoyo: Where?

Kero: Who?

>"May and Joe realesed the clow cards except for the Fly." Li finished.

Kero: I wish the fic was finished.

>"Well, I think we should get some rest." Joe said.

Syaoran: Yeah. Don’t bother worrying about the cards running loose or anything.

>"Hai" everyone said.
>~The Next Day~

Kero: You know, at least this fic moves along pretty fast.

Sakura: Yeah. Who really cares about crucial plot details anyway?

>May awoke it was Sunday morning. As she rose she saw a package next to her bed. With a card. >The message in the card went somthing like this....
>
>Dear May,
>Sakura I mean your new mother and I decided to go on our honey moon.

Tomoyo: Oh, please… They got married overnight, made travel arrangements and took off? And all while knowing the Clow cards were on the loose?

>In the package are 2 things. Kou and a mirror.

Kero:<Kou, muffled> Could someone open the box already?!! I’m suffocating!

>Kou will teach you everything you need to know.
>Love,
>Dad
>
>May opened the package to see a mirror on a chain and the little creature, Kou asleep.
>'I'll let her sleep.' May thought to herself.

Kero: Why can’t you be more like that?

Sakura: I am not letting you sleep sixteen hours a day, Kero.

>~In Joe's room~
>Joe awoke to see a letter and a package.
>Dear Joe,
>Li/your father and I decided to go on our honey moon. In the package are 2 things. Kero and a key. >Kero will teach you everything you need to know.
>Love,
>Mom

Kero: Déjà vu!

Tomoyo: Can you say “Copy And Paste”?

>Joe opened the package to find an old rusty key and Kero. Kero was asleep.
>'He'll probably need some rest.' Joe thought to himself.

Syaoran: Lazy guardians.

Kero: HEY!

>2 B continued.

Tomoyo: 2B… Hmmm… BINGO!

>A/N:Yea! Kou is finally here. We'll learn more about her in the next chapter. Oh no, all the clow cards >are gone,AGAIN, Li and Sakura are on thier honey moon, and left there children
>to get all the cards back! Well, that's all. See ya!^-^

Kero: Why do I feel like I’m watching the ‘Sailor Says’ segment in a dub episode of “Sailor Moon”?

Sakura:<Sailor Moon> Remember, don’t open mysterious arcane books you find in the attic! Sailor Moon says! <giggle>

Tomoyo: Oops! Break time guys.

Syaoran: Not a moment too soon.

THE HOLOCABANA

Music suddenly blared and the audience clapped and cheered. “Welcome, everyone, to ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’” came the voice of Drew Carey “On tonight’s show: The Windy! Syaoran Li! The Watery! Sakura Kinomoto! The Firey! Tomoyo Daidouji! And The Earthy! Kero-Chan!”

The camera cuts to Drew. “And I’m your host Drew Carey! So let’s have some fun!” The camera follows him as he sits behind the desk. “Hi, everyone. Welcome to ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’, the show where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. Just like the words ‘Lolita complex’ to Terada, they don’t mean a thing.”

Some of the audience members seem displeased. “Bad move, tubby,” said Syaoran.

“Zip it, Wolfgang!’ Drew retorted. He then proceeded with his intro. “If you haven’t seen the show before, what happens is that these four contestants will come down here and make stuff up based on suggestions written on these cards. They’ve never seen any of these before. After each game, I award points, which are just a gag to hold the show together. At the end I pick a winner and they get to do something special with me…”

“God help us.” Syaoran mumbled under his breath.

“Our first game is… Film And Fanfiction Styles! This is for Sakura and Syaoran. What I need from the audience are some suggestions of film and fanfiction styles.”

Sakura and Syaoran step forward as the audience yells suggestions. Several are yelling ‘Lemon!’ causing the two performers to blush.

“Okay, that’s enough,” said Drew. “Okay. Your scene is… You’re Joe and May from this week’s experiment discussing how to go after the Clow card.”

Sakura coughed. “<cough>sakuracards<cough>”

“So start whenever you’re ready.” Drew finished.

“Joe! We have to do something about the escaped Clow cards!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Why?” asked Syaoran.

“Because if we don’t we won’t have a scene to do!” Audience laughing.

“Calm down. Have something to drink.”

<BUZZ!> “Kit Spooner fic!”

“Do you want lime or strawberry?” Syaoran asked. Further audience laughing.

“I’d answer that, but knowing Kit, this fic probably isn’t finished yet.”

<BUZZ!> “Why do you guys pick on Kit so much anyway?” asked Drew.

“We want to get her to finish ‘Nadesico’s Daughter’,” said Sakura.

“Thinkerfic!”

“Why not cards after go! Like after pokemon do we!” said Syaoran.

“I sorry,” said Sakura. “Thinking of ‘Apple Jacks’ commercial for reason some.”

<BUZZ!> “I said Thinkerfic, not Yoda-fic.”

“Bite me, lard-o,” Syaoran growled.

“Okay. Kevin Smith movie,” Drew announced.

“Oh, <bleep>” grumbled Syaoran. “Why should we <bleep>ing worry about those <bleep>ing <bleep> cards. <bleep>!”

Sakura shrugged, but remained silent.

<BUZZ!> “Nice to see the censors are still at work,” said Kero.

“Okay. Don’t go away! We’ll be right back with more ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’!” Drew announced as the show cut to commericial.

Audience applause and music comes up.

“That was fun!” said Tomoyo. “I just wish Kero and I would’ve had a chance to play a game too.”

“Sorry, Tomoyo-chan, but the break’s almost over,” Sakura explained.

Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It melts away to nothing.)

(Door 5: It swirls open from the center.)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It splits into six long strips that retract into the doorframe.)

(Door 2: It’s made of small wooden blocks. The CCS plushies come in and haul them away, one at a time.)

(Door 1: It’s a set of theater curtains. They are pulled back and you move on.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan enter the theater. The three take their seats in the theater while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>Chapter 3

Kero: That’s three more than there should be.

>*Siiizzzzllllleee*

Syaoran:<Emeril>BAM!

>The sound of a pan is heard.

All: Boooooooo!

Kero: Heheh, ‘Pan’! Get it?

>"Good morning Joe" May said as darkly as she could.

Sakura:<May a la Seinfeld>Hello… Newman.

Tomoyo: C’mon, we’ve done that joke once already in this experiment.

>"What's with the dark side May?" Joe questioned.

Syaoran: Suddenly we’re dealing with Stephen King here.

>"Read the note you baka!" May yelled as she pointed at a letter.

Syaoran:<Joe> Yeah. It’s a ‘Q’. So what?

>Joe picked up the letter.

Kero: And bought a vowel.

>Dear Joe and May,
>You are now enemys. No bonds untill the cards are all sealed. You will get some kind of reward, for >geting the most cards.
>Good Luck,
>Mom and Dad.

All: WHAT?!!

Sakura: I know Syaoran-kun and I were in competition, but come on…

Tomoyo: And you wouldn’t have been rivals if Syaoran hadn’t wanted the cards for himself.

Kero: Yep. Nothing like sending your kids into competition with each other.

Syaoran:<Li Showron a la Homer Simpson> I want to see you fighting! For your parents love!! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

>"I smell food!" Kou entered the room with the mirror around her neck.
>"Just for you and me Kou" May replied grinning.

Tomoyo:<May>Joe can starve.

>"What about us?" Kero said as he flew into the kitchen.
>"You have to make your own food" Kou anwsered.
>"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Kero and Joe yelled.

Syaoran:<Joe>Not COOKING! Anything but that!

>*Ding*
>"It's done!" Kou screamed.

Tomoyo: Geez… No need to be so hyper.

Sakura: Good thing that pan came with a timer.

>As soon as May set down the two omellets,Kou shuved it down.

Kero: Down where?

Sakura: Kero…

Tomoyo:<Kou, singing>I shove from a land down under!

Syaoran: Yeesh…

>"This is great,I've never cooked before."May responded with a mouth full of food.

Tomoyo:<May> In fact… ACK!!! <choke> Stupid… egg… shells…

Kero: Don’t talk with your mouth full, dimwit.

>~After lunch~

Kero: Comes dinner.

>"Ok Joe. Time to learn how to use your key." Kero sat down on Joe's bed.

Sakura: As opposed to Joe’s head.

>"Alright" Joe said as he pulled the key out.
>"First you have to say:Clow key I am your new owner."

Sakura: FOWL! It should be the Sakura key!

Kero: When did you become so egotistical?

>"Clow key I am your new owner" After Joe said this the key pointed at him.

Syaoran:<Key>You’ve gotta be kidding! Look at you!

>"Now,say:Clow key, rust you do,

All:<giggles>

Syaoran:<Key, squeaky>Oil… can… Need… oil… can…

>lend me your power! NOW!"

Syaoran:<Key>No need to shout!

>"Clow key, rust you do, lend me your power! NOW!" Joe yelled and the old key was now blue and >green.(A/N:It is Sakura's rod only suited for Joe.)

Kero: Hey… Wasn’t the key in “Card Captor Syaoran” blue and green too?

Syaoran:<Card Captor Schlueter>Hey! Rip-off!

>"Now the key can use any clow cards power. Try the fly."

Kero:<Joe> No thanks. I’m not a frog.

>"Ok,but how?"
>"Say:Fly, lend me your power,FLY!"
>"Ok.Fly, lend me your power,FLY!"

Kero: Now say: I’m a weenie.

Sakura: Kero…

>The key grew wings that grabbed Joe and put him onto the rod and held onto him, while flying.
>~In May's room(10 minutes after Joe's expirement)~

Sakura: Joe has died. Quit or retry?

>"First pull out the mirror." Kou said as she sat down on the dresser.
>"Alright"May pulled the mirror out of the box.(Kou put it back)

Tomoyo: So, May had to take it out again. But, then Kou put it back…

>"Now, you have to say: Mirror of clow. Realse and lend me your power!"

Kero: Mirror of Clow? Where’s that come from?

Sakura:<Mirror Card>I got promoted!

>"Mirror of clow. Realse and lend me your power!"
>The mirror soon turned into a big staff with a mirror at the top.

Tomoyo:<Kou>Break it and you’ve got “Seven Years Of Bad Luck”.

Kero: Lay off the fanfic plugs, Miss Shill.

>"Next you say, what power you want to use. I've hidden an item in here say:Mirror of clow show >the light. Show me the card!"

Kero:<Tom Cruise> Show me the MONEY!

Syaoran: Oh, shut up.

>"Mirror of clow show the light. Show me the card!"
>All of a sudden a picture of the fly card appears in the mirror.(Note:The mirror looks like the one the >mirror card holds in its picture.)

Kero: So… It’s round?

Sakura: Don’t forget the tassels!

>"Now say: Mirror show me the location!"
>"Mirror show me the location!"
>A little beam shoots out of the mirror and points to the dresser.

Tomoyo: Soon the dresser burst into flame.

>"Good. That's were I put it"Kou pulls out the Fly card.
>"Next is:Fly,lend your power to this staff,FLY!"
>"Fly,lend your power to this staff,FLY!"
>The staff grew wings that were a shade of blue. May hopped onto the staff and held on tight.

Syaoran: So Joe just handed over ‘The Fly’ card to her, even though they’re now in competition with each other?

>~Outside~
>"Kou.."May said as she soared threw the clouds.

Sakura: It must not be easy trying to throw clouds.

Kero: Yeah. Well, I’m about to throw up.

>"Yes" Kou responded.
>"Tell me about your past,please?"

All: NOOOOOO!! No flashbacks!

>"Ok"

All: ARGHHHHHHH!!!

>"Thank you"
>"Well it all started when......"
>
>2 B continued

Tomoyo: JimAndZazu must be a student of the Lady Yuy School Of Fanfiction.

>A/N: Hehe...Cliffhanger!^_^ Well, now they know how to use the weapons. Joe and May are now >enemys till it's over.

Kero: I hope that will be soon.

>Disclaimer: I don't own much. Not to mention I'm broke. Well CCS belongs to CLAMP and >Joe,May,Dan,Kou,and Justin belong to me.

Syaoran: Justin? Who’s he?

Sakura: The guy Meilin married.

Kero: Oh! The dead guy.

>I'll let anyone use them but they have to ask me first(except Justin)

Kero: Kinda hard to write about a dead guy.

Tomoyo: Unless you’re George Romero.

>Don't miss the next episode of, Next Generation!

>See ya! ^_^

>Chapter 4

Kero:<singing> This is the fic that doesn’t end.

Syaoran: Bite your tongue!

>"Well it started along time ago.

Tomoyo: In a galaxy far, far away…

Sakura: Cute. Real cute.

>When Clow Reed created the clow cards,I'll tell you that story later.He needed a guardian for the >cards,so he had a contest.The 2 finalists were me and Kero.

Sakura:<Kou> Everyone else was too tall.

>Me and Kero have been friends forever,except then....."
~Flashback~

Syaoran: And awaaaaay we go.

>Kero and Kou are trying all their might to catch a decoy. Kero catches his first.

Kero: Ha Ha! The plastic duck is MINE!

>"Oh yea! I got it! In your face loser!"

Sakura: Nice to see you’re such a gracious winner, Kero-chan.

>~End of Flashback~

Tomoyo: Wow. That was short.

Syaoran: Yeah. This must be the abridged version.

>"Those words were so cruel.Kero was chosen, and me,Clow Reed said if anything every happend to >Kero, I would have to help him or take his place.

Sakura:<Kou>So, I started tripping and shoving him, hoping he’d injure himself.

>Later when the cards were to wild they told me to help.

Kero:<Kou> I told ‘em to shove it!

>I stayed hidden most the time. I was frientened."Kou fineshed with a tear falling off her face.

Kero: Wuss!

Sakura: Kero…

>"Don't worry Kou."May said as she was flying on the mirror/Staff.
>All of a sudden, it got dark and a huge cloud was starting to take over the sky. Then it started to >rain,followed by hail.

Sakura:<May> Damn weatherman! He never gets it right!

>"Let's get out of here!"Kou yelled following May.
>~At the house~
>"Welcome back May."It was Dan.

All: ACK!!

Tomoyo: Where’d he come from?

Syaoran:<Dan> I had to break a window to get in. Hope you don’t mind.

>"Hi Dan.Hi Joe" May said as cheerfully as possible.

Sakura: Oh no… Don’t start that again!

>"So which card is it?"Kou asked Kero.

Sakura:<Kou> You said you could tell me which card I chose. No such a big shot now, huh, Kero?

>"You mean which cards is it. Well it's the rain,freeze,and the cloud."Kero said as he started to make >coffee.

Syaoran: Okay. When did Kero learn how to operate a coffeemaker?

Tomoyo: Dan is taking this very well.

Kero:<Dan> How cute! Living plushies!

>"That's what I meant.So a combo."

Syaoran: With fries and a Coke.

>"Right!"

All: LEFT!

>"What are we waiting for?!"May yelled.

Kero: The author to keep writing?

>May and Joe grabbed their staffs and ran out the door. They looked up in the sky and saw somthing >that caught May's eye.

Sakura:<May> Kya!! Let go of my eye!!

>"Mother?" May said in wonder.
>Yes it was. It was Meilin's ghost, but she wasn't alone, next to her was the man who had been >driving.Justin Jamo.
>"Father?" Was Joe's response to the event.

Kero: So… Sakura’s husband was cheating with Li’s wife.

Tomoyo: That’s convenient.

>"No time for staring May!" Yelled Kou
>"Come on Joe!"Kero yelled.

Kero: Ignore those specters of your parents’ souls and MOVE IT!

>"Right"Was their responses.
>2 B continued....
>
>A/N:Sorry for the wait. I've been busy. And this all I could come up with. So see ya.^_^

Syaoran: No. Take as long as you want.

>Chapter 5

Syaoran: Or not.

>A/N::Insert Law stuff Here:: Sorry about the wait. It's just I've been thinking about not continuing >the story after this chapter. I haven't gotten many good reviews.

Kero: Big surprise.

>So on with the story!

Syaoran:<JimAndZazu>No matter how much they hate it THE FIC WILL CONTINUE!!!

>"Mirror of clow. Realse and lend me your power!"Yelled May.

Tomoyo: Uh… Didn’t they still have their staffs in the last scene?

>"Clow key, rust you do, lend me your power! NOW!" Yelled Joe.
>"FLY!"Joe yelled.

All:<singing>He can fly! He can fly! He can fly!

>"Use your Elements!"Kou yelled at May.

Sakura:<May>Of course! Now where’d I leave that periodic table?

>"THUNDER!" A bolt of electricty hit the Rain card.

Syaoran: Hey! Don’t pick on ‘The Rain’ card!

Kero: You’re just saying that cause it sucks up to you in “Card Captor Syaoran”.

Sakura:<Rain Card, singing>I… just wanna have fu-un!

>Joe kicks the Freeze which makes it scream.
>"FIRE!"A fire ball hits the Cloud.
>"Freeze return to me. FREEZE!"Joe yells.
>"Rain and Cloud return to me.RAIN! CLOUD!"May screams.

Kero: Why is everyone yelling?

Tomoyo: Maybe they think it’s dramatic.

>The 3 cards return to there new owners.
>Kou holds up a board."Here's the score:

Kero: Spelling: 0 Plot:0 Grammar: 0

Tomoyo: MSTers: 976 Fanfic: 0

>~~~~~~~~~~
>May|Joe
>---------
>Rain |Fly
>Cloud |Freeze
>~~~~~~~~~~

Syaoran: Who taught May how to use magic anyway?

Kero: Who knows? Who cares?

>A/N:Yea I know VERY SHORT! I couldn't think. Well, I've decided if I get at LEAST 2 GOOD reviews I >WILL continue.

All: WOO-HOO!

>If NOT I will write a short STUPID chapter.

Sakura: Not unlike all the chapters so far.

>Well See ya. Ja-ne.^_^

Sakura: Comments?

Syaoran: Five words: What. The. Hell. Was. That.

Tomoyo: Sure, it was short but it left huge gaping holes in the plot.

Kero: Yeah. Not to mention that Li and Sakura ditched their spouses with no problems at all. Then the four of them get married again right away. Plus Meilin and Justin die right off the bat so why were they even in this story?

Syaoran: Meilin and Justin just acted as ciphers to provide Sakura and Li with separate kids and then they were ditched so the fic could dive head-first into S+S WAFF.

Sakura: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Syaoran: Of course not.

Tomoyo: And what’s up with Dan? He doesn’t react at all to anything! Plus, Sakura and Li I get married in the middle of the night and take off leaving their kids to fend for themselves against the Clow cards.

Kero: Enough chat. Let’s beat it before he writes another chapter!

**

DEEP 13

               “Oh, you think you’re so clever don’t you, Syaoran?” Eriol mumbled to himself as he rummaged through the file cabinet. “It’s time I taught you some respect. And I know just what it’ll take to break you. Oh, I’ll show you… No one calls me Eli Moon….”

               “STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!” TV’s Spinel Sun screamed, thus derailing Eriol’s train of thought.

               “Aw, Binnnny!!” TV’s Ruby Moon replied with mock sympathy.

               Eriol sweatdropped. “Would you two knock it off?!”

               Ruby Moon shrugged. “Whatever you say, Eli.”

               “Oh, shut up and push the damned button, pinky,” Eriol growled.

               “Narf.” Ruby Moon replied flatly as the pushed the button.

THE REAL END

(Feel free to hum “Catch You, Catch Me” as the credits roll.)

               Well, Season Two of CCST3K begins. I’m not sure how long this series will last, but as long as I have wonderful and intelligent readers out there who think I’m brilliant, the MSTings will continue…

               By the way, Maggie Blue O’Hara was the voice of both Mariemaia and Madison Taylor, for those who were curious.

               -CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Season One:

1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo

2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)

3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Evangelion Crossover By Khyron Kingkiller

4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul

8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat*

10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Season Two:

11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu

>"Clow key, rust you do, lend me your power! NOW!" Yelled Joe.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations

are trademarks of and (c) 2001 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights

reserved.

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